Thursday, May 29, 2003

I am going golfing on Sunday. YEAH!!!

Question of the day.

When something expires JUNE 2003, does that mean that it expires on the 1st of the month, or the 31 of the month?

K

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

KJ dit :
read my blog
KJ dit :
funny story
Sarrah dit :
okay!
Sarrah dit :
http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20030528.wxcover28_art/BNStory/Front/ (HOOTERS OPENS AN AIRLINE)
KJ dit :
true story, they emailed me an application, as they are looking for flight attendants and knew that transat was laying people off
Sarrah dit :
lol
Sarrah dit :
you should have done it!

KJ dit :
they said they would provide me with my own set of socks
Sarrah dit :
lol
I had the funniest thing happen to me at the gym last night.
I had just hopped off the eliptical machine as it was making me mad.
It was like one of the those tables that has one leg longer than the other, and you have to hunt for a coaster or a pile of napkins that you can put under the stubby leg to balance it out. There are no coasters at my gym!!!

So I was standing waiting for the step class to finish, and the body pump to start. Standing in plain view of the entire gym. I took a swig from my water bottle, and had this crazy reflex, and let the water dribble down my chin onto my shirt. Why you ask? I do not know. I truly do not know.
And like one of those people who pretend that something is not happening, I tried to look as casual as possible.

Some crazy reflex. Which led to one of my co workers telling me that 3 years ago he found himself in the strange situation of kissing a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. Fur in mouth, wondering what on earth he was doing.

Did you watch the Osbornes last night?
I was laughing my ass off. The dog attacked the cat.(And not in the normal sense of dog attacking cat.) Too funny, poor kitty. That dog is a hump machine!!! That show is so funny. I find myself laughing out loud, which I rarely do for a television show.

Back to my reality.
K

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

So, I am a very well travelled lady.
I have been to Paris, Frankfurt, London, Amsterdam, Porto, Athens etc. And never have I felt intimidated for a second.
I have no fear wandering the streets, in countries that I don't even speak the language.

But put me into the city of Toronto, a city that I live so close to, and I fall to pieces.
It is but so silly.

I guess that when I travel, I am a tourist and have no shame in not knowing where to turn, or where I am.
But because I live in this city, and know nothing about it, I am embarassed when I take a wrong turn.

How silly of me.
Note to self. Get out, and get to know the city.

K

Sunday, May 25, 2003

It is a little after 4am. And I am in bed trying to make my heart slow down its racing pace.

Not 20 minutes ago I was awakened by a man's blood curdling scream "..... dead. .... dead. He's f**kin dead. What the hell just happened here, or How did this happen"

So hear I lie, thinking that at the end of my street someone is dead. And here is where my dilemna is. I don't know if her said "You're dead, or he's dead" Should I call the police over something I think I heard? I could be mistaken. But I might have been correct.

I watched from the window, in true Nancy Drew fashion, and watched one van followed soon after by a car quielty drive down the street. And made my best attempt at getting a description of the car and van driving off. Heaven forbid I ever witness a crime. I am so bad with details. But I did look for distinguishable marks on both.

The exchange was short, and no one else made a noise.
There have been no sirens screaming up the street.
So i will assume that all is well?

I went down to double check the deadbolt, and to see what time it was. 3:59 am. How very Drew of me. (Distracted once again by a car dring past, and what sounds like two bins banging into each other.)

But I've got to tell you. I feel like I witnessed a goverment conspiracy of an invasion of the body snatchers.The spead that the car and van left in, was very controlled. Not the tearing away from a crime scene that I would imagine. Not the speed that someone in an arguement would have. You could barely hear the acceleration.

So wide awake, I wait for the door bell to ring, and the door to door canvas to begin.

And try to settle my heart and my stomach.

k

Friday, May 23, 2003

Today is one year to the day that we buried Daddy, and I wonder if I subconsciously knew. That might explain my somber mood today.

I remember that it was Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Anne, Mum, and I. Father Tobin was there to preside. I had only ever been to one burial. Mum and I went together. We decided after that ceremony, that we did not to be buried. Winter is too cold for people to attend the burial. We both decided on cremation.

The man who worked for the cemetery pulled my aside to explain that the grave had some water in it. As it was spring, the ground thawed, it had not yet had a chance to absorb. He wanted to tell me so that I could tell everyone else as to not be shocked. It was so odd to bail water out before placing Daddy carefully inside. But the man said that it was normal, and us not knowing any better, trusted in him.

And I remember that as we put him in the dug out hole, we each put in a rose to surround the urn. And in the close background, the bulldozer hovered, ready to fill it in as we finished. I watched with curiosity the man in the hard hat, checkered shirt, and well worn jeans. And I wondered how many people he had seen in mourning. Had it lost meaning?

I remember that after the prayers were said, we lingered. I think we did not know what to do and we did not want to leave. And we waited until the ground had been filled in before we left. I think that we wanted to make sure that he was safe.

And then, it was over even though he had passed 15 weeks earlier. Long since gone, the reality like the earth had still to be absorbed.
Am feeling pretty down today, and cannot even begin to understand why.
It is Friday, the sun is almost out, and I have the whole weekend to play.
So why then am I so unhappy. There are so many people who have bigger and more serious problems than me. I acknowledge that, but still feel sorry for myself.

I woke this morning at 4am, and was quickly brought to tears.

What is going on in my brain?

Talked to my seestor today. It is so neat how we can talk daily from opposite sides of the ocean. It is truly amazing what technology allows us to do. I wish I had an infinite amount of time and money to travel the world.

I think that I am suffering from burn out. That paired with the fact that I have the travel bug that I have to wait another 6 weeks to feed.

A la prochaine.

k

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Morning to all.
Am covering a class this morning and have nothing to do to occupy myself.

Slept a little better last night. My dream though is to make it through the night. Am looking forward to the end of the day so that I might indulge in a pint or two. How sad am I? Wishing my days away so that I can have pints.

Not much to report this morning. Am not really feeling 100% . My mind is racing with meaningless facts. I have this tendancy to think things through and plan out where there will be disruptions and problems, and then plan how I will get out of them. So much planning. But that is in my nature I guess.

Might I say that this week has yet to have a major incident?

It is however only Wednesday.

Feeling a little disappointed today.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

I thought that I would make a list of things that my ex’s have left in my house upon their departure. (It is quite a spectacular list.)

1. A pipe
2. a funnel
3. an oil drip pan
4. a pair of pliers
5. a hammer
6. a pair of rubber boats
7. a subscription to a diving magazine
8. a mouth piece for diving
9. a pair of black dress pants
10. a dishwasher
11. an apron (my gift)
12. oven gloves
13. a cutting board
14. sweaters and t-shirts (multiple)
15. knives
16. underwear (tempted to cut holes in them)
17. an unlimited, and harassing amount of phone calls from a collection agency
18. And last but not least. A CAR!!! (What do you do with a car? He has ownership, and lives in South Africa) This is a story for another day. And soon.

K
So, my sister wants to know who I am seeing.
She thinks that he is a celebrity. That is why I won't talk about him.
She says that she would not put it past me.
What a compliment.
What celebrity would I ever come into contact with.
I used to argue that I should have a celebrity boyfriend. I am a teacher, and a flight attendant. I think that those women have a better ratio of celebrity to non celebrity relationships.

Until I realized the community that I teach in, and the company that I am a flight attendant with. HOLD EVERYTHING. This topic was soon dropped from my list.

I have had the worst week of non sleep ever. I am so frustrated. I just cannot sleep. I have tried everything, and with God as my witness, tonight I am going to have two glasses of red wine before I go to bed. It has become almost stupid. I almost got out of bed at 1am. I should have done some marking. That would have put me to sleep quickly.

I watched the finale of Mr Personality last night. Hosted by Monica Lewinski. (That is a conversation in itself) The motivational speaker who has been for the last few weeks trying to convince her with his "magical" powers dod not, thank goodness win. Anyway, he gave her this book, and I wish I knew the name of it. They read one passage that really stuck me.

I can't sleep when you aren't here, and I can't sleep when you are here. Thank God for the difference.

I think it starts with the letter R, Reim? I am not sure. If you know, let me know.

Took some fab pictures of my flowers in the garden. When I find the battery recharger I will post them. (SJ will have to show me how to do it)
The whole idea started with a trip to Home Depot, a sheet of plexiglass (which by the way does not bend vey nicely)

I must have ADD. This entry is as scrambeled as my brains are. Too much sun over the long weekend.

Have a great day.
(19 teaching days left, including today YIPEEEE)

k

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Fresh from a night out on the town.
We all went to the Bier Market on Front Street.
Very nice place. They had a huge variety of beer to choose from. Too many choices.
They had a live band that played a variety of music. It was very nice.

Can I say how much fun it was to see all the ladies. I think the last time we were all together was at Lorina and Myles' wedding this summer. What a great bunch of people. Is it too late to make a New Year's Resolution, to keep in closer touch with them.

Also met Sarah's roomate Rohan (sorry if the name is spelt incorrectly.) What a fab guy.

The highlight of the night was Lorina asking where Mandy was, and joking that she had left already.
She had.

Left and headed to a live Reggae show. It is amazing how quickly pints and treats can creep up on you. Our stop at the show was very brief. VERY BRIEF and we cabbed it back. A little midnight snack and straight to bed. Imagine trying to put a bed sheet on a futon. It took us quite awhile to figure out which way it went.


On a completly unrelated topic, election time seems to be approching.
The Government is running on, among other things no lock out for teachers, no strike action, and making it illegal to work to rule.
That is just silly. How are they going to make it illegal for us to cancel EXTRA CURRICULAR activities? It just makes no sense.

"If you dont like your job. You don't go on strike. You go into work every day and do a half ass job. It is the American way." Homer Simpson

K

Friday, May 16, 2003

So, I don't want to do anything this morning.
There is no one on line for me to chat with.
I have payed all my bills, and the last thing I want to do is mark the little angel's essays.

It is a misearable day, a la London. Rainy, damp and not nice.

My bones are aching. I have been feeling like crap all week. I have no idea what kind of bug I have got, but it is not nice. Even Neo Citren will not put me out cold. (Truly disgusting stuff. They now make it in a variety of flavors. I am sorry, but no matter what you do it is still GROSS. I tried the honey lemon flavour. YUCK!!! )

I think that it is a combo of allergies, cold, and exhaustion.

I tried to explain last night that I didn't go to the walk in clinic because I wasn't feeling well. I just didn't feel like waiting. I know what they will give me. I am so not good with medecine. I take it when I want, for how long I want. Directions? No thanks.

So I sit here at my desk thinking of nothing and trying to see how fast I can make the day go bye.

I have plans with some friends from University tonight. I haven't seen them in quite awhile. It is always fun to see them. But I confess, I am also nervous because they are close friends with Ryan. That is an entry for another day.


I hesitate to add this unrelated comment, but I received the most beautiful reply to my post yesterday.

"A Captain may may venture onto uncharted waters, but never on a maiden that he does not know and trust"

Truly beautiful.

To sun, sun, and more sun this long weekend.

K

Thursday, May 15, 2003

A special post for a special someone today.

Straight from Romeo and Juliet

He is the courageous captain of compliments (Act IV Sc II, ll 19-20)

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

So, I have come to the decision that going to the gym at 630pm and staying until 830 pm is not the best idea.
I did not sleep a wink last night. OK maybe 2 hours, but that is pushing it.
My mind and body were racing.... all night long.

I tried to do deep breathing. No luck.
I tried to write everything down that was on my mind. No luck.
I went to the bathroom. No luck.
I got a cup of tea. No luck.
I then had to go to the bathroom again. Still no luck.

My ceiling and I have gotten very well aquainted. I can make out shapes on the ceiling. I won't bore you with the details.

The crazy thing is that I feel great this morning. I can't believe how good I feel. Very strange.

We are Dragon Boat racing again this evening, and I have clean and matching underwear ready.
After that it will be a quick pint and change to go to the big Fashion Show. Tonight is the big night.
I am very excited, but have not yet decided what I am going to wear. Ah the dilemnas that I face. Do I wear the fab dress seestor bought me. A full length black dress (from London) with a plunging neckline, with my knee high stilletto boots or my lovely black pointy shoes? Or do I wear a summer oriented flower print dress that is very cool (from Dublin). This is how often I get to dress up. I am worried what I am wearing to the school fashion show tonight.

Check this site out www.expressionsofhope.com

it is quite a production, with a budget of a modest wedding.

Will share the details with you tommorow.

Have a fab day.

K

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

I am in one of those rare moods, where everything must be accomplished at once.
I am on fire. So much so that my wheels are spinning.
Another busy week ahead of me, but the count down is on for the end of the year.

Sarah is back safely and I can't wait for her to reveal her advemtures. Sounds like she has had a mind altering vacation.
Waiting for the details.

Am excited as tonight is another gym night and I will force myself to raise the weight on my bar. Have become stagnant as of late, but I am making this promise to raise it tonight.

Have a great day.

K

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Ok. So last week when we were finished Dragon Boat racing I hopped onto the swing set. Wow. When was the last time you were on a swing? Well it was awesome.
I totally forgot what it was like. I was soaring on the weing with the wind whipping against my face. I even got an under dog. (Thanks Victor.) Again... so much fun. And then when i jumped off, I felt that familiar sharp pain on my feet. It brought so many memories back.

So this week, I hopped on again, and have officially made it part of my weekly routine. Will swing before each race (tee hee).

Fresh from my swing yesterday, I was feeling full of life. So I decided that I would continue on my quest to reclaim my youth. I decided that I should try a kart wheel. Wow. Long time since I tried that one. Gina went first (fab). And then it was my turn. I said, "I shouldn't do this... I will probably rip my pants." And then went into the kart wheel pose. Now. If I do say so myself... my kart wheel was pretty fantastic. But as I reached the full extention, I heard the dreaded RIP. Yes, I ripped my pants. As I predicted I would. So here I am in front of 15 co-workers, black tear aways (how ironic), and beautiful blue panties in almost plain view.

Immediatly, a vision of my Mother came to mind. "Always make sure that you wear clean underwear."

This could have only happened to me. And again, I usually wear shorts under my tear aways but I was distracted when i was getting dressed.

So picture me trying to sit, lady like in a boat and paddle up and down with nothing else on my mind that my merchandise is almost completly on display. And then we went to a pub for pints. Only me I tell you.

Needless to say, my night was a rousing success. And the festivities that ensued left me with wondeful sleep, only interupted twice in the night. That is good for me. I am afraid that I have been cursed with my Mothers sleeping patterns.)

Awaiting my next adventure, as I am sure that there is another one to come.

K

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

It is Wednesday again, and that means that it is time for Dragon Boat Racing tonight.
I am looking forward to it. The only bad news is that it is looking like it might rain this afternoon.
But as I said to one of the guys. Rain is rain. It is not like we are wicked witches and we wil melt. On second thought, I guess that truth will truly be revealed tonight. Who will be the first to melt?

Nothing much more exciting to report. I am waiting for the next challenge to surface but, knock on wood, things seem to have settled quite nicely. I have grand plans for the new spare room in my house. The Blue walls will quicly be replaced with something much more stylish and modern. Hmmmm the mind is racing.

Have missed reading what my sister is up to, but know that she will have lots to say when she returns.

We have five weeks (after this week) and then school is done. That is the best news that I can think of.

I am definatly as a crossroad in my life, and have made some big decisions.

1. Taking June off from Transat (that is if I am not layed off)
2. Will try to take July off as well so that I can do my AQ in Phys Ed, and get a nice raise from the School Board.
3. Come September, I am going to actively recruit a position for myself as on overseas teacher.
4. Am going to consider my masters in some aspect of education. The trick is to find one that can be completed by distance over the next few years.
5. And most important.... Actually get to doing at least 2 of the things I have mentionned. I can make great plans, but have great difficulty achieving them.

Wish me luck. I think that I have the perfect opportunity to reduce, and eliminate the trivial people and details from my life, and start on a new rewarding path.

Have a great day.

K

Monday, May 05, 2003

It amazes me how quickly things can change. Or on second thought how much they don’t change.

I got up early yesterday, and got a great start on the day. I went to church at the crack of dawn and then hit the gym. After my class, I did some cardio and then headed home. I started to make a fab breakfast. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was brilliant, and I think that there are a couple of blue jays building a nest in the tree in my backyard. There are also peace doves nesting in my oven vent. Well let’s just say that that was the calm before the storm.

I will not resort to name calling, and gossip. But the fact remains that I am now sans one room mate, and I have a broken door frame. I will leave the rest to your imagination. But I will say that the two incidents are not related. Would it not be more exciting if they were?

The school blessing was yesterday and it was really nice. The only sad thing is that there was a very poor turnout. The good news is that we got lunch today from the left overs, and it was very nice.

I had a great afternoon. I had the best time in the nice weather and with great company as well. I also touched base with the important, supportive people in my life. The thing that amazes me is that I have carelessly assumed much from my so called friends. It takes only one event to reprioritize everything and everyone.

And, when I went to bed, apart from the drama that occurred today, I felt peaceful. I think that true colors were revealed today. And that brings me great comfort to know that the doubts I was feeling were not only doubts. They were the truth.

So everything that the day started off with, it ended with. And even though on the surface everything has changed, nothing at all has changed.

K